OK, so I am getting somewhat irritated with the general confusion surrounding the Next and it's different forms.
Hence this short post on the definitions as I have come to understand them.
Obviously, these are open to debate, which is why I'm even making this post but some people have gotten the original terms ass-backwards in my opinion.
NEXT: The act of moving on from one particular woman to the- yup- NEXT one. (So, if you haven't moved on you really haven't nexted her, have you?
)
Hard next: Cutting ANY and ALL contact with a woman. NO phonecalls, NO texts, NO emails and NO writing on their Facebook-wall. NO CONTACT, get it?!
Soft next: Stopping any SEXUAL contact with a woman. Everything else stays the same as before the soft next, except you're not fucking her anymore. This is like a non-verbalised LJBF.
The Zan: This is telling a woman that you have fallen deeply in love with her but you know that you're just going to hurt her because you love women too much and this is why you can't be with her anymore. (Short version, DAFS for the OP by Zan for details). After delivering this you ACTUALLY HAVE nexted her and have to be completely OK with never seeing her again. Then, if she should come back, you now have her tacit permission to pursue other women (discreetly) because she has accepted your new EFA of being a polyamourous player.
Mental next: This is when you next her in your mind.. she doesn't have to be with you while this happens. It's simply putting her out of your mind for a shorter or longer time period and she has no idea that she's been nexted until the mental next turns into an actual hard or soft next (which it may never do if her behaviour that caused the mental next changes in the meantime).
Freeze-out: A technique used in battling LMR where you put your focus and energy on something other than the girl (TV, food, putting on a CD etc.). Some people will pout when they do this and thus render this technique completely useless as it is designed to demonstrate sexual non-neediness and let's face it, pouty guys who gets visibly upset about not getting pussy really aren't very sexually non-needy..
Hope this clears things up a bit.
Dog.
Hence this short post on the definitions as I have come to understand them.
Obviously, these are open to debate, which is why I'm even making this post but some people have gotten the original terms ass-backwards in my opinion.
NEXT: The act of moving on from one particular woman to the- yup- NEXT one. (So, if you haven't moved on you really haven't nexted her, have you?
)Hard next: Cutting ANY and ALL contact with a woman. NO phonecalls, NO texts, NO emails and NO writing on their Facebook-wall. NO CONTACT, get it?!
Soft next: Stopping any SEXUAL contact with a woman. Everything else stays the same as before the soft next, except you're not fucking her anymore. This is like a non-verbalised LJBF.
The Zan: This is telling a woman that you have fallen deeply in love with her but you know that you're just going to hurt her because you love women too much and this is why you can't be with her anymore. (Short version, DAFS for the OP by Zan for details). After delivering this you ACTUALLY HAVE nexted her and have to be completely OK with never seeing her again. Then, if she should come back, you now have her tacit permission to pursue other women (discreetly) because she has accepted your new EFA of being a polyamourous player.
Mental next: This is when you next her in your mind.. she doesn't have to be with you while this happens. It's simply putting her out of your mind for a shorter or longer time period and she has no idea that she's been nexted until the mental next turns into an actual hard or soft next (which it may never do if her behaviour that caused the mental next changes in the meantime).
Freeze-out: A technique used in battling LMR where you put your focus and energy on something other than the girl (TV, food, putting on a CD etc.). Some people will pout when they do this and thus render this technique completely useless as it is designed to demonstrate sexual non-neediness and let's face it, pouty guys who gets visibly upset about not getting pussy really aren't very sexually non-needy..
Hope this clears things up a bit.
Dog.
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